Stupid boys
2004-07-22, 1:15 a.m.

Almost got into a car wreck this evening while picking up my father at dialysis. An asshole ran a red light nearly smashing into the truck. ARGH.

So lots been happening in my life. Me and James have been fighting on and off for the past couple of weeks. I know why its because he triggered some feelings I didnt want to feel such as making myself feel very low and worthless. Great huh? Oh well I have moved on but he cant. I guess I pissed him off when I said something about men and women. Then I said something about its ok cause we have friendship feelings not romantic feelings. I think he thinks another way. Cause he said why would you want to ruin a friendship if we plan on sleeping together. Ok um newsflash I never said we are going to have sex ever. He just assumes. I told him how I feel about that and he said he understood but he thinks he can break down that wall. HAHAHA good luck.

Then there is this other guy I have been talking to and his name is Eric but later found out that was a lie and his name is Dale. The whole reason we met was cause Orchy always was in the "rate a rod" rooms on aol. They are funny. Random guys on aol send you pictures of their penises. HAHAHAHA then you have to give them a rating in the chatroom on a 1-10 scale. Oh my its too funny. Well this one guy sent me a series of pictures and Orchy assured me that they were him. I then started talking to him only after one of our friends stopped talking to him. Ok so yeah began a phone chatting relationship. I was begining to suspect he wasnt the guy in the picture due to the way he talked about certain things. Like the guy in the picture very good looking not that it mattered anyway but he was very well endowed and had is penis pierced. When I asked him about it he was kinda fuzzy on the details. I know about those piercings cause of my friends doing it. Then I asked him about tattoos and he said he had only one and it was on his back. But the guy in the picture had one on his forearm. Then suddenly he said oh yeah and he had one on his left arm. HMMMMMMM I think he was onto me. I know I shouldnt make a big deal about it cause I have done the same thing. So I still talk to him. He is a nice guy just a little too nice and tries to please way too much. I know that appeals to my dominatrix part but hey I dont want a doormat. And he lives in like indiana or some shit like that. Thank god he is far away.

Oh yeah Jean called me after about 2 weeks since he showed up at the fourth of july BBQ. It was awkward at first but we soon started chatting like normal. I havent called him back but I will soon. Just taking my time like he did. There is more to whats going on in my life and I will update more since I realized that I have paid for this diary I better get my money's worth. Oh yeah I have lost over a 100 lbs so far whooo hoo yay me. Ok off to play.