I was a bad girl today
2004-01-15, 1:58 p.m.

Today is not a good day. My "snow" finger is hurting and swollen like mad. Ugh I hate that part of this crap. Anyway, I have been a bad girl I had some gummy bears and some conversation hearts. They are just too nummy. I need to redirect my focus again. I have to do this weight loss to attain my goal. Which I am finding is shifting these days. Its being driven by sheer hatred and revenge. I dont know what or which way I want to go. All I know is that I will get what I want in the end. It just takes time. Even if I dont know what the outcome will be. Oh well I have to get ready for mom. We are going food shopping and to exchange a bra that doesnt fit. WHOO HOO. Major proof. I swear I go food shopping so much. Its driving me mad. So my goal is by december I will be really really thin. SCORE! I cant wait. Oh yeah I need to get dad to take me to Nordy's for some tennis shoes for my treadmill. Its hard to walk in boots. And to go car shopping. Minivan here I come. I know minivan what am I thinking but hey better gas mileage than an SUV and same if not more room. Oh well. I also talked to Russ my ex. Seems he is the father of the baby. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA interesting. I really thought he wasnt. But hey every person that has ever dicked me over has suffered. I think marrying and having a kid with that chick was punishment enough. I just love it. But I really feel bad for him in some ways. He didnt deserve all that. I think the jail time was enough. Oh well time to go get ready. Oh yeah I am gonna post my weight loss every week on here whoo hoo. go me.