NEVER TRUST A LIVING HUMAN SOUL
2004-02-27, 3:26 a.m.

I had this whole scoobie doo type rant going on in my head and when I get to the computer GONE! ARGH I hate that. Oh well. I will remember it later.

You know how you begin to hate humanity and wishes some giant nuclear disaster will end the human race. Oh maybe thats just me. Anyways I am begining to hate my friends or so called friends. i swear at every turn they are ratting me out. I tell people things in private or I tell them not to tell anyone and I swear its like in the newspaper front page. You gotta understand I am a very private person when it comes to certain things and lately no one seems to get that and passes on private thoughts or happenings to anyone that will listen. So I made a new rule I WILL NOT OFFER UP OR TELL ANY PERSONAL (seriously personal) INFO UP TO ANYONE ANYMORE! I am just tired of it all. I trust no one damn I am sounding like some cheesy X files show. But its the truth. I tell people things and everyone seems to know. I trust people too much I think. Yeah we all know that one. UGH Oh well enough of that rant.

Back to Rome I go. I talked to my father and he said sure after the end of this year I can make plans to move permanantly. I even looked into schools and study abroad programs. The eternal city awaits me. Its calling me every step I turn. I am begining to even talk to people in italian only forgetting I am in the states. BIG SIGN I was not meant to be an american. Dont get my wrong I love the US just hate how boring and lifeless it is. Ok on to stupider things.

I got invited to a party tomorrow or rather today and i am not sure I even want to go. Not in the mood for boring lifeless same old routine people. I can find more contructive things to do. Like taking more pictures. I have my portfolio almost done. I am fucking surprised on how well it looks. Actually I am not surprised I know I am a fucking goddess when it comes to the camera. I want a dark room now thats for sure. I dont even take pictures of people that is soooooo cliche' Even though I was asked to at this party. People suck.

Oh my tests got rescheduled not all that happy but saw my oncologist. I asked him when some of the hair I had lost from the chemo will come back he said soon. It better not that anyone notices but I still do.

Aww I missed my wish time. You know how you are suppose to wish when the clock says all the same numbers like 11:11. Well I just missed 3:33 Oh well I will soon get another chance.

You know I know NO ONE reads this and I seem to type as though I have an audience, its just theraputic I guess. And if anyone stumbles upon it. DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME! oh yeah Orchy does have a link she reads it. I never even told her about it yet she found it. hmmmm She has one but I cant seem to find hers. I will soon. Ok off to feed the puppies and get some much needed rest. First I have to look up Ibocaine. God I love CSI oooh maybe I should become one looks fun.