Pseudo Intellectuals
2004-04-29, 9:47 a.m.

I had this whole rant about people with psuedo intelligence. They bug me. Its like why pretend you are smart it only serves to make you look even more stupid. I know quite a few people like that. Believe me. Oh well I will think of it later.

As I woke up this morning I was realizing how much I am doing for one person who basically has nothing to offer. I dont even know why I love this person. By nothing to offer I mean look at what this person does. No direction, no substantial job, no ambition, lots of dreams that will never ever be followed up on, no real education, not all that great looking, never traveled, never really experienced life outside his little bubble, and stuck doing nothing for the rest of his life.He talks a good game maybe because he lacks in everything else. OOOH that was a bitchy thing to say. I mean I am making strides to make myself a better person so they could love me. When I realized when this all goes down and I am still in love and want this person back he would have to change. I would never change anyone thats one thing I could never do to a person but why am I making all the sacrifices. Whats wrong with me? Not much just physical. HMMM makes you think. I want someone I can grow with, develope with, and just be able to be peers. This person isnt really a peer of mine. Weird. Sometimes I hate lying there thinking way too much. I get on these long chains of thought and realize what the hell is the matter with me. They say love is blind well the bitch must be deaf and mute too. I expect to start a business, own a house, be healthy, and so on yet this person is stuck doing nothing. I would be the superior person in all this. Wow never thought of myself superior well intellect wise hell yeah I am superior to a lot of people but not all around which I will be when everything happens. What a conundrum. I am begining to be egotistical. HAHAHAHAHA In a way thats totally cool since I had horrible self esteem. I think what people have told me is coming true I am gonna be an evil bitch hell bent on destroying everyone. Uh oh I am gonna be Orchyde. OOOOOOOOH Look out world there will be 2 of us. HAHAHA With that rant I will have to talk about me freaky ass dream with Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese another time. I have to tend to some house cleaning and stuff. Oh yeah its shopping day whoo hoo.