Nostalgia
2004-05-04, 4:44 a.m.

I love it when you get all nostalgic. I was watching some video on VH1 classic that reminded me of when I was a kid and the cool things I use to do. I love it when you are a kid and nothing else in the world matters but that moment. Even if its sitting down in front of the television watching saturday morning cartoons ( when they were on from 6 am to like 4 pm) and eating a bowl of Trix� The original version with the round puffs instead of this current nasty shit that has fruit shapes.

Nevermind that back to being a kid. I just remember just loving to get up and go to school and have a blast. Then come rushing home to throw down your stuff grab something quick to eat and then hauling ass outside to play with the other kids. Play until dinner time when you would say "I am gonna eat at so and so's house" and then that person would yell to their parent " I am gonna eat at (insert your own name here)'s house" It was sooo cool. Play until the street lights came on and you would have to be dragged in kicking and screaming even though you were exhausted. God those were the days. They should let adults do that every now and then. Maybe the world wouldnt be so pent up. I like the idea. Kinda like in Rome where its the law that you have a 2 hour break during the day and sleep or do whatever. That's sooo cool I loved it. And as kids we had the greatest imaginations. We could make up any game or scenario and everyone would go along with it no matter how fucking out there it was.

Oh I remembered the weekends where I would go roller skating. Oh hell yeah! I want to do that now. When I lose all the weight my ass is getting on some quad skates. Not that rollerblade shit. But at the rink oh there was this guy there named Chuck my first older crush. He was 18 or some shit and I was like 10. He was an adonis. I even remember his full name. Walter Charles Costello. Wow talk about having a profound effect on me growing up. I was at the rink EVERY saturday from 11 am to midnight. I had been going there since I was 6 or something. I remember my first pair of skates were Smurf skates. HAHAHAHAHA I was growing so fast that one day I busted out of them and along comes this Irish god named Chuck who hooked me up with some free rental skates. I was hooked. I begged my parents to get me a pair of "real" skates by the next weekend. They didnt but I got them a few weeks later. They were white. I got a new pair every year for christmas. Until one day my parents bought me speed skates. OOOOOOH they were like Adidas with wheels on them. I had become a very acomplished little skater. I was incredibly fast. HAHAHAHA I remember the first time I skated I wouldnt let go of the railing the whole time I went around the rink. After a few weeks I was whipping around that thing like I owned it. Well I become a regular in fact at one point I didnt have to pay to get in any longer. I just showed up and even helped with renting out skates. Well back to Chuck, he would let me run the games like 4 square, races, hokey pokey, and Lights out. I was a cocky little shit about it too. Well when the races happened I would race and usually win. I got so good that in fact over the mic Chuck would make me move back and back farther away from the starting line almost to the DJ booth and eventually to the DJ booth so as to give the others a fair shot. It was embarassing and cool at the same time. Chuck would say my name over the PA and I would just giggle. I complied though and still won. HAHAHAHAHA I won a small soda or something. I remember once that there was a nasty crash during the race and I was caught in it and got run over by some asshole. I cut open my forehead. Chuck tended to my wounds and gave me a free soda and a licorice rope. AWWWWWWW I was totally in love. Turns out I wasnt the only one. After my mom met him she use to stay at the rink for a few hours. I found out later why. She wanted Chuck and use to hit on him. ARGH! BITCH! But that was the least of my problems. Chuck had a girlfriend named Gretchen who ironically I was friends with her younger sister. I found out through her sister that Chuck and Gretchen were going out. OH MY GOD! I was devestated. I cried and cried and cried. I never wanted to go back. Chuck knew something was up and talked to me. I couldnt tell him but he later figured out that I had a crush and I was hurt. He talked to me and made me feel very special. In fact he made it almost look like I had a shot if him and Gretchen didnt work out. UMMMMM YEAH FUCKING RIGHT! But that wasnt the worst thing.

My father was retiring and we were moving. NOOOOOOO not from my Chuck. Yeah clear across the country. Away from my Irish God. It killed me. It actually worked out he went away to college that summer anyway so I wasnt gonna see him again. I recovered though. Years later I was visiting home and one day while out with my father I had seen Chuck at the little store. I was too scared to get out of the car. I just watched him. He was all built and still goregous as ever. I just laughed to myself and said wow there goes my first big real life altering crush. I should have said something. But I didnt. Too bad. Every now and then I get a flash back when I hear some song or just remember being a kid and I think of him. I want to find him and tell him all the things I could never say as a child.

Ok back to nostalgia. Again while watching VH1 classic, Love in an Elevator by Aerosmith came on. Let me tell you about that song. That song came out when I was going through some major biological changes. I discovered masturbation and I was hypersexual. Every time that video came on MTV I would just masturbate like a bunny in heat. And you know MTV and how they love to play the same videos over and over. Needless to say my hand was waterlogged and tired. HAHAHAHA I dont know but that song was always the trigger. Weird huh.

I use to have masturbation marathons. I mean like hours and hours of it. Couldnt get enough. God I was a crazy little kid. I remember once I masturbated sooooo much that once during the summer olympics in 1988 I did it for so long that I use to get nasty migraines. But the pain was worth those 2 or 3 seconds of pure pleasure. So I didnt stop until it got so blinding the pain that is that I curled up in a little ball and called for my parents. It was bad. They asked me what happened and I said I dont know all innocent like and said it just came on. Like I was gonna tell them. I masturbated myself into an aneurysm.

Well on that note time to go get something to eat and get some chores done since I cant sleep. Maybe when I do sleep I can have wonderful dreams of the past. I would like to have one of Chuck. HEHEHEHE Oh to have a time machine and go see oneself.