No going to the zoo and weird dreams again
2004-05-29, 5:31 p.m.

Posting early! Well I looked outside this morning to see about going to the zoo and well to my disappointment it was another typical Western Washington day. Cold, gray, and raining. Sucks. I will just go next weekend weather permitting. Plus I forgot yesterday to go get a massive amount of film from Abolins. ( great camera place) I will go monday.

I have found that I am having strange ass dreams while my "monthly bill" is here. The dreams are highly sexual. The one that I had last night was about my friend's husband. WEIRD! Since I am not into that stuff you know being turned on by my friend's husbands or boyfriends. In this dream I guess we had a fling years ago and he filmed it without my knowledge. Oh great one of my worst fears. He got all close to me and showed me the tape and I was horrified. He whispered in my ear that he wants more and wants to have sex with me this time. UHHHHH what? See in real life this never occured I have never ever done anything like that in my life. Ok back to the dream. Well all day he was flirting with me touching me and what not. We were in a class together with a bunch of little kids and he was trying to get me off through my clothes. Not good. Then his friend wanted to join in and they both were messing with me. Oh my I had to get out of there. I got up to leave and they followed me. They both grabbed me and took me to some house. Where they showed the tape again and well kinda forced me into things. OK very strange. I dont even know why I am posting this. But it was soooo vivid. Needless to say I woke up in a panic and extremely turned on. Ok well enough of that not gonna go into details. Plus I have to go eat and work out.

I am now afraid that if I am ever around my friends husband I will look at him differently. Not good. Oh my. I think this celibacy thing is starting to really get to me. But hey I know I am strong and I can do it. Just have to focus on the important things. Like improving myself. Ok now off to go do that.