James is falling for me WTF?
2004-06-15, 1:45 a.m.

James called me today a few times actually. Once to tell me that he would call me back he just wanted to hear my voice. Then he called me back to tell me that he was out with his buddies and that the girl that stood him up the other day was there hitting on him hard and that he has a good chance to score. He said he would call me back with details if something happened. Needless to say I was a little disappointed not because of the chick part but the part that I wasnt going to be able to talk to him until later. Thats until I got a call back 30 mins later. I was like ok that was quick. It turns out some other "alpha" male showed up and basically cock blocked him. He told me the girl was really shallow and wanted the metrosexual guy. James is hot dont get me wrong but he lacks confidence for some reason. Plus he said there is plenty of other girls out there and no chick is worth fighting for. I was like well fine screw you. He then clarified that no a cheap thrill girl not a girlfriend. I was satisfied with that.

A funny thing happened as he was telling me what happened he started to ask questions like if we meet what if I was all obsessed with him and such. Being an empath I knew that James was falling for me. I am not being egotistical but the things he says to me tell me that he is. I responded that if I were to obsess about him he would never know unless the feeling was mutal. He then poured his heart out to me about how he cant trust women and so on but I was different somehow. He has never wanted someone so bad that he has never met. See I was right! Now I am worried cause if he starts to really fall for me ummmm what is gonna happen. Its cool now cause he lives far away but what if. This soooo sucks. I am not ready for this nor do I really want it. I just cant let my guard down at all. I am doing well but I just dont know. ARGH why did "he who shall not be named" fuck me up so bad? How did I let it happen. I am too exhausted right now to think about it. I need sleep. I will think about this dilema tomorrow.