EMOTIONS SUCK
2004-06-16, 4:47 a.m.

I just dont know what to do about this James situation. I cant let him in nor will I hurt him by not showing some sort of feeling for him. ARGH this sucks. We have sooo much in common though. I mean not as much as "he who shall not be named" but still we are learning about each other. He calls me now whenever he is stressed at work so I can calm him down. Plus he calls me the second he gets off of work. And at night I desperatly want to talk to him. Just to hear his voice. He told me to do so cause he knows I just lay awake. But he needs his sleep. I even pushed back my workout just so I could talk to him. And it was brief too so that was not fun. He got all whiney and so did I. But I knew he needed to sleep he has a double shift tomorrow. This totally perplexes me. Why cant I just have my sheer anger and hatred. Why do I have to have emotions? Well I am gonna go lay down and stare at the boring TV longing for the phone to ring. I am such a dork. Maybe I just need this distraction right now.